After years of failed attempts, a group of national newspaper publishers have decided there is no way to solve the problem of declining newspaper readership.

decline of newspaper

The latest circulation figures for U.S. newspapers show a continued decline in the number of readers at most major publications.

At the 123rd annual meeting of the nation’s most important newspaper association in Las Vegas it was revealed that that all association newspapers have been asked to stop publishing forever at the end of the month.

“There’s no way out,” says Preston Ink III, newspaper association president, “so we’re suggesting the most honorable thing to do is just quit. Running these papers takes a lot of our time that we could be playing more golf.”

He reports that even though the association suggested that some of the members try value pricing while others tried luxury pricing, nothing turned around plummeting readership. And that will ultimately impact advertising, Ink noted.

While readership among the valued 18-24 young adult market is virtually non-existent, it also declined in the 24-54 segment, and fell off with the 55 plus demo. “The senior market has gone on-line to day-trade and book cruises. They just don’t seem to really give a damn about reading obituaries anymore.” There were some pockets of strength Ink reported. “There is still significant readership among bird owners and the homeless.”

How will I entertain myself on Sunday without digging through the four color inserts? 😉


Thank you to Jeff Eaton for his photo of Ink Stained Wretches and used under creative commons.